Children are often negatively affected by their parent’s divorce. During the divorce process, parents may be so focused on their own emotional outlook and on resolving their issues they overlook the reactions and distraught feelings of their children. We have some tips you can use to help your kids through this difficult time.

How to Help Your Children During the Divorce

There are a few things you can do to help your children through the divorce process and focus on their wellbeing and happiness. These include answering their questions honestly and keeping them in the loop about how their life is changing. Some concerns children generally have are:

  • What’s going on?
  • Which parent will I live with?
  • Will I still see the other parent?
  • Will I have to change schools?
  • Will I lose my friends?
  • Will I still be able to enjoy all of the activities I normally do?

Even if you do not know the answers to these questions, it’s important to sit down and discuss that which concerns the children, their worries, and anxieties, and that you will be there for them no matter what.  During this trying time, smile, and make your children feel at ease.

What is Not Helpful to Your Children

Your children do not need to know the details of why you are getting a divorce. They do not need to hear about one parent’s infidelity or how one parent is selfish. Things not to do or say include:

  • Do not talk negatively about the other parent when you are visiting with friends when children are nearby.  Avoid saying anything about the other parent that might upset them.  Save those conversations for when you are alone and can talk freely with a compassionate listener.
  • Do not use your children to send messages to the other parent. The messages could get misconstrued and add additional stress to an already difficult situation.
  • It’s important that children should not choose sides between one parent or another.

The Bottom Line

The best way to keep your kids happy during the divorce is to keep them informed, answer their questions honestly, work with the other parent to make sure that the children understand that you both love them, that the divorce is not their fault, and you will still be a family, just a family with a different dynamic.

For more information, contact us at Kim Mediation and Law Center. We can enable you to be considerate of the needs of your children during the divorce process and after.  We help you see that a peaceful divorce is possible.