Divorce can be a scary word with many connotations. Late night conversations, heated arguments, split households, financial stress, worries about the children and parenting plans are things that come to mind. Divorce can be shocking and surprising to many such as Bill and Melinda Gates’s announcement about their separation. Overall, it is just something that people want to avoid, no matter how miserable they may be in their marriage. At times, however, divorce is just necessary. Here are some signs that it is time to get a divorce.
1. Violence and Abuse
Reasons for divorce could also be substance abuse, emotional abuse, and verbal abuse. Speak up and try to find help together through counseling and support systems. If there is not positive change, it could be a time to seek a divorce. If you or a loved one is facing domestic abuse in their home, visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for more information and help to get out of the domestic violence situation.
Infidelity can destroy a relationship and is often very painful. Counseling can help build trust again and mend a connection that has been badly broken. However, if the pattern does not change, or counseling does not help, it may be time to separate a divorce process.
3. Financial Management Differences
Not seeing eye-to-eye on managing the finances can be a reason for divorce. If one person is a saver and the other person is a spender, it can create a lot of conflict in a marriage. If there is not a compromise or if the couple cannot create a financial plan together, then you may need to look into your divorce options.
4. Communication Issues
A marriage is a partnership that involves many decisions together. A couple can easily turn into strangers or end up living separate lives and this can happen in their own home. Sleeping in different rooms, no family time, fighting in front of the children or emotional detachment are reasons for marriage counseling, and if not resolved, then divorce may need to be considered.
This is what Bill and Melinda Gates said just recently. After 27 years together: “we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives.” Simply put, they had grown apart. When can a spouse start to feel more like a roommate than a marriage partner? Maybe when the connection is lost or they can no longer relate to one another. Of course, a couple can’t be happy all the time and conversation is important and this is where a professional counselor might be appropriate.
Ultimately, marriage is a partnership. When that partnership is severed, it needs repairing through counseling and communication. When it cannot be repaired, or the parties feel as though they cannot live their best lives together, it may be time to discuss divorce or separation.
If you are considering divorce and would like to know what your options are, contact us at Kim Mediation and Law Center for a free 15-minute phone consultation.