In California, courts prefer to give parents joint physical and legal custody if possible. This means the children will live an equal amount of time with both parents and the parents must consult with each other and make childcare decisions together.
In reality, it is common for the children to live most of the time with one parent. This could be less disruptive to a child’s routine, including continuing on with the same school and keeping the same friends nearby or anything else important that wouldn’t change for them.
It is still emotionally difficult for mothers to say goodbye to their children when they go to their dad’s home for a few days. The feeling of emptiness is normal while the children are gone. Here are some suggestions and tips for moms who are going through this part of the divorce.
Some things moms can do for themselves during this time include:
- Develop a support system. Talk to your friends and relatives who you can go to for comfort. Spend time with them when your children are visiting their dad.
- Do something fun when the children are gone. Do something you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t have time for.
- Exercise and a healthy diet are very beneficial to wellbeing. It is important to take care of yourself. When you feel good, it will show and your children will notice it too when you see them again.
- If needed, consult a mental health professional who can help you work through the issues in this new life for you and your children to develop together.
- Develop good communication skills with your children’s father. It will help the entire family if the two of you can discuss the changes in schedules and agree on how to deal with childcare issues.
- Do not talk badly about the children’s father in front of them or to anyone else when they can overhear your conversation. They love their father, and look up to him, and anything negative said about your ex will reflect on them as well. It will confuse them and make them unhappy.
Contact Kim Mediation and Law Center
At Kim Mediation and Law Center, we believe that couples can divorce in a peaceful, nonadversarial way. We help moms and dads to work together in developing a parenting plan that is in the best interest of their children. Contact us for more information.