It is possible and very doable for a couple to have a “good” divorce. They do this by avoiding court, keeping their emotions at bay, and staying sensible.
How to Have a Good Divorce
A good divorce can begin with good communication. Seeing a therapist to be sure the marriage is not salvageable is a good place to start. If that does not work, and divorce is the option the couple decides to pursue, they should then look for an attorney who is willing to take them through the process in an amicable way. They both agree not to initiate litigation which only serves to turn the process adversarial.
The Collaborative Divorce Process
In a Collaborative Divorce, you each have your own attorney. You agree in writing to come to a final agreement without going to court. You and your soon to be ex-spouse make the required legal decisions instead of asking the court to make them for you.
You utilize the resources of Collaborative Divorce professionals to help you do this. You agree on the experts to use and generally pay for only one financial counselor, one child therapist and one divorce coach, depending on your needs and your situation. This saves money from traditional litigation where you each pay separately for your own professionals.
Financial professional. The financial coach helps you both see what you each need to make supporting the two new households work. You can more fairly decide on the division of assets, child support, and spousal support when the needs of the two new households are openly discussed.
Child therapist or professional. This professional will talk to your children, depending on their ages, and help you and your spouse make decisions that are in their best interest. You put your parenting plan together with professional guidance and learn how to communicate with each other. You will have to deal with each other for the rest of your lives, like attending school events, graduations, weddings, and dealing with grandchildren. Learn how to do it in a non-adversarial way.
Divorce coach. The divorce coach takes charge of facilitating the process, helping the two sides to hear and understand each other and scheduling the sessions.
If you are thinking about a divorce, but not sure which process you want to use, contact the Kim Mediation and Law Center for more information and to see if a Collaborative Divorce or Mediation is the best choice for you and your spouse.