The divorce rate in the U.S. and California continues to be high. Couples get married with high hopes and the idea of divorce belongs on another planet for them, but problems could escalate, and the topic of divorce might no longer be foreign. Here are some of the most common reasons why couples get divorced.
1. Infidelity Can Lead to Divorce
Infidelity is high on the list of reasons couples get divorced. Few couples keep their marriage together after one has strayed. Often, the person who has been involved in the extra-marital affair wants to end the marriage and move on with the new person. When this happens, it is generally impossible to save the marriage. Occasionally the person who had the affair has regrets and wants to save the marriage, but the one who was hurt might not be able to forgive and would prefer to move on.
2. Disagreement on Financial Issues
There are many financial issues that can lead to divorce. A few examples are:
- Disagreements on how to spend their money. One may be a spender and one a saver. This is a recipe for quarreling.
- One makes extravagant purchases without consulting the other one.
- The couple cannot discuss finances without it turning sour.
- One spouse keeps secrets about spending and may even lie about the finances, but the truth will eventually come out and this will cause serious friction between married couples.
3. Disagreement on Child Care and Other Family Responsibilities
Some examples of these types of disagreements include:
- Vaccinations for the children. The pandemic brought this issue to the forefront. One parent wants to have the children vaccinated and the other opposes vaccinations.
- General disagreements over how to raise the children. One parent may be very strict and have a lot of rules for the children to follow. The other is more lenient and views some of the other parent’s restrictions as unreasonable.
Ways to Handle Conflict and Prevent Divorce
If the couple can keep their line of communication open and try to understand the other person’s point of view instead of blaming the other person, they may be able to save their marriage.
A mental health professional can sometimes help the couple learn how to communicate positively with each other again. They may be able to work through their issues and save their marriage.
A Collaborative Divorce or Mediation May be the Solution
If divorce is inevitable, mediation or a collaborative divorce can help couples communicate better and constructively about the issues of their divorce and, in the end, to walk away from each other as amicably as possible.
If you are considering divorce, contact the Kim Mediation and Law Center for assistance with your collaborative divorce.