Divorce is often synonymous with turmoil, heartache, and bitter disputes. However, is it possible to achieve a healthy divorce? The answer seems to depend on the approach that the couple decides to take.
Traditionally, divorce is thought of as a courtroom battleground, where each party vies to prove their side while attempting to discredit the other. This adversarial approach leaves behind a trail of emotional wreckage, escalating costs, and prolonged resentment. In such a scenario, the pursuit of victory often overshadows the well-being of you and your soon to be ex. This approach is deemed counterproductive.
The concept of a healthy divorce revolves around collaboration, mediation, and open communication. This approach seeks to address the issues at hand without resorting to personal attacks or mudslinging. By opting for mediation or collaborative methods, you can have intelligent discussions focused on resolving disputes rather than escalating them. Keeping lines of communication open and exploring resolutions in a respectful manner can lead to a healthier outcome for everyone.
The distinction between these two approaches becomes more pronounced when considering the aftermath of divorce. In a contentious courtroom battle, the lingering negativity and emotional toll can be significant, affecting mental health and overall well-being. In contrast, a healthy divorce seeks to minimize these negative repercussions, enabling you and your spouse to move forward in a positive manner. While emotions may still run high in mediation or collaborative settings, the overarching aim is to find common ground, even amidst disagreements.
In a society that sometimes romanticizes adversarial court battles, the concept of a healthy divorce may seem farfetched. While it may not eliminate all emotional challenges, a collaborative and communicative process will mitigate the negativity associated with divorce, leading to a better mental and emotional outcome.
A healthy divorce is not a myth but a choice. By adopting a collaborative and communicative approach, you can limit the damage that is associated with traditional adversarial divorces. However, achieving a healthy divorce isn’t always easy. Emotions can complicate matters and anger can disrupt the process. Yet, the focus remains on discussing issues, finding resolutions, and ultimately enabling everyone to transition more smoothly into post-divorce lives.
Lynette Kim has over 25 years of experience as a family law attorney in California and focuses on peacefully resolving disputed divorce issues. The Kim Mediation and Law Center is located at 3701 Wilshire Blvd. Suite 508 in Los Angeles, CA. To schedule an appointment, call 213-352-1000 or visit www.kimmediationandlaw.com.