Going Through the Holidays While Divorcing
The first holiday season during a divorce can be emotionally challenging as family traditions and routines change. Focusing on your children’s needs, using mediation to plan fair holiday schedules, and seeking support from friends or professionals can make the transition smoother. With communication and flexibility, you can create new traditions that bring comfort and stability during this difficult time.
Facing the First Holiday Apart
The first holiday season during a divorce is one of the most difficult transitions. Even though you may not be divorced yet, the separation itself changes traditions, routines, and expectations. For many the holidays highlight the loss of family unity, which can lead to feelings of alienation and loneliness. One parent may feel excluded while the other is with the children, making it important to plan for both emotional well-being and family connections. Here are some suggestions on how to get through the holidays during divorce:
1) Prioritizing Your Children
Children often feel the effects of divorce most during holidays. While it may be tempting to pull back or avoid contact with the other parent, doing so can unintentionally make the season harder on the kids. The best approach is to focus on preserving their joy and sense of stability. That means resisting the urge to let conflict spill into the celebrations.
Remember: Your divorce is between you and the one you’re separating from, not your children. Keeping their needs at the center helps them feel loved and supported despite the family changes.
2) Use Mediation for Holiday Planning
If you are involved in Mediation, this can be a valuable tool for creating temporary holiday arrangements. Parents can agree on “this year’s schedule”, such as one having the children at Thanksgiving and the other at Christmas. Mediation encourages communication and provides a neutral space to negotiate these plans, even if the parents are not on the best of terms. Establishing a clear schedule helps reduce uncertainty and ensures that both parents have meaningful holiday time with their children.
3) Find Support and Connection
Spending the holiday alone can be overwhelming, particularly if your family gatherings were once central traditions. Rather than isolating yourself, reach out to friends or extended family who can include you in their celebrations. Maintaining connections can ease feelings of alienation and provide much-needed support. Counseling or therapy is also a helpful option, offering a safe space to process emotions and develop coping strategies.
4) Maintain Willingness to Adjust to New Traditions
Divorce is often described as emotionally draining, and the holidays can amplify that stress. While shutting down may feel like the easiest option, keeping open communication with your children and your co-parent helps everyone get through the season more smoothly.
It may not look like past holidays, but with intentional planning and a willingness to adjust, you can create new traditions that honor both your children’s needs and your own healing.
Since we offer free consultations at Kim Mediation and Law Center, though, it never hurts to give peace a chance. Call or contact us today — and get a divorce mediation lawyer in Los Angeles that’s committed to minimizing stress in the divorce process as much as possible.
The Kim Mediation and Law Center is located at 3710 Wilshire Blvd in Los Angeles, CA.
Compassion for my clients is important to me, and that’s why I’ve remained a family law practitioner for 30 years — and still love what I do. I’m keenly aware of the emotional toll divorce can have on you and your family. As you navigate the rough waters of transition, my team and I will help you find your balance. We’re here to support you in making the best decisions for your future. I’ve seen the positive results again and again when couples embrace meditation or collaborative divorce. I’d be honored to share these practices with you and set your family on a healthy path.
