Dumb Things Divorcing Couples Fight Over
In every divorce, part of the process is the division of the family’s assets. Unfortunately, some divorcing couples end up fighting over little things that do not seem worth the trouble. These fights, in many cases, are less about the items themselves and more about unresolved emotional conflicts. Here are some examples of things that couples argue over during a divorce that are not worth the fight versus the cost of paying the professionals for the animosity:
Mementos and Insignificant Items
One of the more common items of dispute are family mementos or small household items. In some cases, couples end up in court battling over photo albums, books, or even kitchen utensils. One particularly strange case involved a couple fighting over muffin tins that were purchased at a garage sale for just 25 cents. It is not the object itself that usually matters, it is that these fights are symbolic, representing unresolved emotions or control over shared memories.
Airline Miles and Rewards Points
A surprising item of contention in many divorces is airline miles or credit card rewards points. These intangible assets can be hard to divide, and sometimes, couples argue over their division simply to prolong the legal process. For instance, one divorcing couple had a heated debate over how to divide their airline miles. One spouse insisted on dividing the miles, even though they couldn’t be split. In the end, the other spouse had to calculate their value and pay in cash—an amount far less than what the receiving spouse may have imagined.
Destroying Careers Over Money
In some extreme cases, individuals have gone as far as sabotaging their own careers to avoid sharing assets. One example involved a professional who destroyed their own professional standing to avoid giving the other spouse any share of their estate. The spouse was so determined not to pay spousal support or divide their shared wealth that this spouse was willing to damage her own financial future in the process. This kind of irrational behavior often stems from lingering emotional wounds and unresolved conflicts, where the goal becomes more about hurting the other person than achieving a fair settlement.
Petty Fights Masking Emotional Battles
At the heart of many of these arguments is the fact that the fight isn’t really about the item in question. Whether it’s muffin tins, airline miles, or the family dog, these disputes often arise because the emotional aspect of the divorce hasn’t been fully processed. Divorces can feel like a loss of control, and fighting over seemingly insignificant things can be a way to regain a sense of power, even if it ends up costing more in attorney fees than the item is worth.
While these disputes may seem trivial from the outside, they often reflect deeper concerns that have not been resolved. For couples going through a divorce, it’s important to recognize when a fight is about more than just the object —and to seek ways to address the underlying issues before they spiral out of control.
The Kim Mediation and Law Center is located at 3701 Wilshire Blvd in Los Angeles, CA. You may schedule an appointment by calling 213-351-1000 or visit www.kimmediationandlaw.com
Compassion for my clients is important to me, and that’s why I’ve remained a family law practitioner for 30 years — and still love what I do. I’m keenly aware of the emotional toll divorce can have on you and your family. As you navigate the rough waters of transition, my team and I will help you find your balance. We’re here to support you in making the best decisions for your future. I’ve seen the positive results again and again when couples embrace meditation or collaborative divorce. I’d be honored to share these practices with you and set your family on a healthy path.
