Can Mediation Work in a High Conflict Divorce?
Even when there is significant conflict in a divorce, Mediation can still provide a healthier and more productive path toward resolution by encouraging problem solving, reducing costs, and allowing you and your spouse to make decisions with the help of a mediator.
High Conflict Does Not Mean Mediation Is Impossible
If you are facing a high conflict divorce, you may believe that Mediation is not an option. The answer, however, is that Mediation does work in most high conflict situations to resolve the issues in your case and avoid the expense of going to court. High conflict divorce cases require a skilled mediator, patience, and a thoughtful process designed to help you work through difficult issues.
High conflict divorces can be more difficult because emotions are intense and disagreements may seem impossible to resolve. A trained mediator is able to divide complicated problems into smaller, manageable steps. The mediator will help to focus on individual needs and assign tasks or information gathering between sessions. This enables you and your spouse to shift your attention toward solutions rather than continued conflict.
The Role of the Mediator Matters
Success in Mediation in a high conflict divorce depends largely on the mediator’s experience and ability to guide difficult conversations. Some mediators have specialized tools and techniques that help you to move away from arguments and toward productive discussions.
A mediator’s role is not to decide who is right or wrong. Instead, the mediator helps you both to identify problems, evaluate options, and work toward agreements that meet your needs.
Why Mediation is Better Than Litigation
When a high conflict divorce goes to court, the financial and stress related costs typically increase significantly. Litigation creates an environment where your conflict will intensify, resulting in greater anxiety, more expenses and an even more difficult divorce experience.
Through Mediation, you have a level of control over your divorce. You participate in creating solutions rather than placing those important decisions in the hands of a judge. The process encourages communication and problem solving, which leads to a more constructive outcome.
The Choice Is Ultimately Yours
Some high conflict couples may prefer the fight of litigation because it feels emotionally satisfying in the moment. However, choosing to work through the conflict in Mediation gives you an opportunity to focus on resolutions and your future.
The bottom line is that high conflict divorces require extra care and skill. Mediation provides an opportunity to solve problems, maintain decision-making authority, and avoid the greater financial and emotional damage that litigation may create.
FAQs
1. Is Mediation suitable for every high conflict divorce?
Mediation works in many high conflict cases, but each situation is unique. The nature of the conflict and each person’s willingness to participate in the process will influence whether mediation is appropriate.
2. Why does a mediator give homework or tasks between sessions?
Assignments help direct attention toward gathering information, completing necessary work, and finding practical solutions rather than continuing disagreements.
3. Why is litigation difficult in a high conflict divorce?
Litigation increases expense and conflict because decisions are placed before a court rather than developed through a cooperative problem-solving process with an experienced mediator.
Compassion for my clients is important to me, and that’s why I’ve remained a family law practitioner for 30 years — and still love what I do. I’m keenly aware of the emotional toll divorce can have on you and your family. As you navigate the rough waters of transition, my team and I will help you find your balance. We’re here to support you in making the best decisions for your future. I’ve seen the positive results again and again when couples embrace meditation or collaborative divorce. I’d be honored to share these practices with you and set your family on a healthy path.
